Before you have sex for the first time, it can seem like this big, mysterious thing. But it doesn't have to be shrouded in secrecy. Eleven girls talked to Seventeen.com about what they wish they had known before having sex, so whenever the time is right for you, you can feel that much more prepared.

1. Sex is best when you really feel comfortable.

"You'll know you're ready to have sex with someone for the first time when the thought of them seeing you naked in full light doesn't scare you or make you nervous." — Isabel, 20

2. Sex should be fun for both of you.

"I wish I knew that it should be equally about both partners' pleasure. If your partner doesn't care about making you feel good, then they are the wrong partner." — June, 18

3. Orgasms aren't weird.

"I wish I'd known I was 'allowed' to enjoy it. When my ex-girlfriend and I first started having sex, I was almost scared to have my first orgasm because I thought she would judge me. She said it was weird to make noises during sex and stuff like that. She made me feel bad for wanting to have fun." — Allie, 18

4. You don't need to have sex to be cool.

"I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a guy who was four years older and not a virgin. Part of me thought the older I was when I lost my virginity, the lamer I'd be. I trusted my boyfriend, but I also felt manipulated, and now I regret it. The relationship eventually turned abusive. I wish I had waited until I was really happy to be with a person — not just settling for them out of fear that no one else would be able to love me." — Meg, 17

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Hannah Orenstein

Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.